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I Love Myself, Or At Least I'm Trying To: Ten Ideas For Treating Yourself Kindly

7/8/2015

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So, a couple of weeks ago I told all about one of my biggest insecurities: my complexion. And while I do wallow in self-pity a little bit more than I should, I have picked up some pretty awesome self-love tactics along the way. I think we all could show ourselves a little more self-love (except for those outliers known as narcissists…), so feel free to read on to see if any of my ideas seem beneficial to you! 


Admittedly, I was in the middle of a Netflix binge of Friday Night Lights and cooking up a storm while I wrote this post, so if it isn’t as detailed, I apologize (although some of you may be jumping for joy since I have a tendency to be too wordy…)!

1) Write down a list of things that you truly love about yourself. 
  • It could be anything, it doesn’t have to be a physical trait or some amazing talent you have. For example, I appreciate my tendency to have fun and be silly, I love that I wear clothes that I like and have my own style, and I enjoy my vast music taste. 

2) Verbally compliment yourself if you feel comfortable doing so. 
  • Writing things down is awesome to do too, but for me, when I look myself square in the mirror and say hey, you look beautiful today (yes, I’m weird, I know ;-)) I feel like I’m being more genuine with myself than writing something down on a piece of paper. Plus, a few books I've been reading note that you can "trick" your self conscious into believing something if you say it out loud, like a chant or a mantra.

3) Learn to say no and take time to take care of yourself, whatever that looks like. 
  • I’m so happy that I’ve picked this up, as there are some days where I honestly don’t want to be around anyone else and I’d rather be parked on the couch with some bacon and Netflix, because that’s what I want to do. Putting yourself first doesn’t have to be a selfish act, but it can be an act of self-love!

4) Treat your body kindly – both mentally and physically. 
  • Meaning, try to reduce self-deprecating talk and get up and move and experience what it’s like to be active in your own body. I don’t mean go run on a 5k and make yourself feel miserable (unless you're into that form of torture :-)). Try going for walks, yoga, stretching, doing fun outdoors activities like hiking and biking, etc. Do what you want to do to be active!

5) Do something fun completely by yourself. 
  • Sometimes I’ll go to movies or concerts alone because then I can truly enjoy the moment for myself without someone else’s influence or opinions bringing me down. Who cares if you’re the only person alone in the theater or venue? Learning how to have fun on your own is a great way to get comfortable in your own skin :-)

6) Treat yoself! 
  • I know I wrote this same exact thing in one of my previous posts, but it always helps me when I go and buy a killer outfit (or seven… god damn you Target!!!), a book I’ve been wanting to read, or a food item that I normally wouldn’t. While I’m not a proponent of solely relying on this method, sometimes an exciting purchase can boost our spirits.

7) Find a way to channel your creativity. 
  • For me, it’s belting songs out at the top of my lungs and dancing around in my room. I’ve always been drawn to music, whether it’s playing it or listening to it, and it helps me tap into my spiritual side, which normally gets ignored. Through this exploration, I’m able to purge some not-so-good emotions and revel in the positive ones (like when I drop it low in my room and celebrate random accomplishments). 
  • If music isn’t your thing, maybe DIY-ing is or drawing or writing poetry. Whatever it is, try to incorporate it into your daily routine if you can!

8) Spend time with people who build you up and make you feel good about yourself. 
  • I’ve slowly but surely weeding people out of my life who are negative, patronizing, and unsupportive of who I am inside and out. This has helped me renegotiate my self-image and feel more empowered. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore to keep someone close to me who makes me feel like crap, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that either!

9) Keep it real :-) 
  • I have had to come to terms with some facets of myself that could use some work (i.e. my temper and jumping to conclusions). In doing so, I am able to overcome these issues (or at least work toward it!) and truly be in control of my “destiny,” or self-growth. 
  • In my mind, loving yourself is pushing your boundaries, and for me, that starts with being up front with myself 100% of the time.

10) Be forgiving toward yourself! 
  • I was just talking about this with my therapist, and she pointed out that I’m even hard on myself about being too hard on myself. 
  • I’m my biggest critic, and I realize that’s a huge cliché or commonplace thing, but I’m constantly analyzing my every thought, move, verbalization, awkward body movement (except for my dance moves, they’re great, I promise), and more. That’s definitely the opposite of self-love! So, if you can, give yourself a free pass here and there and realize how awesome you are :-)

Okay… my bacon is calling my name and I have to finish this episode of Friday Night Lights because I’ve become slightly attached to Tim Riggins… it’s fine… Anyway, I hope some of these suggestions will help you all.

What are some things that you do to show yourself the love? Leave me a comment below!

Until next time!

- Julie

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